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Friday, October 9, 2009

$10 RIPT Apparel: Oldman Handlebars

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Artist Jonah Block knows what it takes for a true handlebar mustache to make the cut.

Some chrome, a blowtorch and WD-40 may be involved, so don't get scared, but think of all the ways you can modify this mastery of a 'stache! Here are a few I've considered:
For the guys:
1. Replace the stock hand grips with something a little more unique, like fake walrus tusks or badass chain mail.
2. Install a cupholder for your beers. Just don't drink while you're...well, you're not driving, are you?
3. Add one of those shocking devices you find at Spencer's. A friendlier idea might be a stereo.
For the ladies:
1. Let your tricked out upper lip fur know it's special by adding tassels to the hand grips--you know, like on that bike you had when you were 10.
2. Install a voice-activated makeup applicator. Perfect mascara every time!
3. Consider making your handlebars bluetooth-compatible. Talk and travel while saying to yourself, "Look ma, no hands!".

Didn't see that comin' did ya? It's crazy what coffee can do for creativity--and by coffee, I mean really weak, very well coffee-mated coffee.